The traditional marriage with the extended family creates as close to a kinship setup as is possible in our modern age and, when it works well, pays big dividends to long term happiness.
That setup, however, does not require pre-marriage chastity.
I don't think I can agree with the positive assessment of Bari Weiss; or maybe it just is that a rejuvenated 'center-right' space is not one that I find intellectually honest or welcoming to genuinely exploratory discussions.
You've warned me in the past about Weiss. I respect you enormously and take that very seriously. I continue to believe that she provides a valuable service but my eyes are open!
I enjoyed this piece, Sam, and appreciated your thought meanderings and agree with many of your byways into a very big topic - but framing the question of feminism - or the sexual revolution - in terms of failure just reinforces the hyperbolic language of headlines. I don’t think feminism has failed; nor do I think it’s ascendant, as you note here. If anything, your response indicates just how much ideas about equality AND difference should be part of the public discussion of what gender means. Recall that I’m a 2.5-wave feminist 😉
I’ve been mulling over another recent piece of yours about the fate of literacy (and why we may no longer need to learn to read), because it disturbed me. At the same time, I’ve been realizing that the push by OpenAI and others to create bots that talk back to us in an array of voices feels as I’m being forced into accepting something I don’t want - no matter how much I say no, this stuff is invading the communication platforms I use and beginning to co-opt imagination and the kind of interiority you mention that comes of deep reading.
This worries me, and it’s not something I can shrug off. It feels like we’re all being groomed - and in my embodied female way, I recognize when I’m being told to knuckle under and accept “reality” or tradition or whatever the people in power say. To me, the Patriarchy in the Machine is much more worrisome than saying goodbye to the sexual revolution or dreams of feminist utopia that were never grounded in the real world. Thanks for helping me clarify my own resistance.
Can we have a return to traditional sexual norms without the ridiculously expensive weddings? Not all of us are urabanite yuppies with tens of thousands of dollars to blow on one event.
“The militaristic ‘40s and ’50s brought the world back in the other direction.” Indeed, and that’s why I often have to object to the characterization of 20th century lit as being a mausoleum of white men, because the first thirty or so years of the Pulitzer fiction prize is roughly split between male and female. It veers sharply toward your suburban male writers in the fifties, and I think this is the era that a lot of people assume was a standard rather than an odd aberration.
The traditional marriage with the extended family creates as close to a kinship setup as is possible in our modern age and, when it works well, pays big dividends to long term happiness.
That setup, however, does not require pre-marriage chastity.
Thanks for this thought proving post.
robertsdavidn.substack.com/about
Enjoyed the essay; lots to think about.
I don't think I can agree with the positive assessment of Bari Weiss; or maybe it just is that a rejuvenated 'center-right' space is not one that I find intellectually honest or welcoming to genuinely exploratory discussions.
I take it you disagree lol! Very happy to chat more on all of this.
You've warned me in the past about Weiss. I respect you enormously and take that very seriously. I continue to believe that she provides a valuable service but my eyes are open!
I enjoyed this piece, Sam, and appreciated your thought meanderings and agree with many of your byways into a very big topic - but framing the question of feminism - or the sexual revolution - in terms of failure just reinforces the hyperbolic language of headlines. I don’t think feminism has failed; nor do I think it’s ascendant, as you note here. If anything, your response indicates just how much ideas about equality AND difference should be part of the public discussion of what gender means. Recall that I’m a 2.5-wave feminist 😉
I’ve been mulling over another recent piece of yours about the fate of literacy (and why we may no longer need to learn to read), because it disturbed me. At the same time, I’ve been realizing that the push by OpenAI and others to create bots that talk back to us in an array of voices feels as I’m being forced into accepting something I don’t want - no matter how much I say no, this stuff is invading the communication platforms I use and beginning to co-opt imagination and the kind of interiority you mention that comes of deep reading.
This worries me, and it’s not something I can shrug off. It feels like we’re all being groomed - and in my embodied female way, I recognize when I’m being told to knuckle under and accept “reality” or tradition or whatever the people in power say. To me, the Patriarchy in the Machine is much more worrisome than saying goodbye to the sexual revolution or dreams of feminist utopia that were never grounded in the real world. Thanks for helping me clarify my own resistance.
Major incel vibes here, dude
Can we have a return to traditional sexual norms without the ridiculously expensive weddings? Not all of us are urabanite yuppies with tens of thousands of dollars to blow on one event.
Provocative essay. So, one question, Sam: Isn't love always the answer? Now what is the question? ~ xo Mary
“The militaristic ‘40s and ’50s brought the world back in the other direction.” Indeed, and that’s why I often have to object to the characterization of 20th century lit as being a mausoleum of white men, because the first thirty or so years of the Pulitzer fiction prize is roughly split between male and female. It veers sharply toward your suburban male writers in the fifties, and I think this is the era that a lot of people assume was a standard rather than an odd aberration.