It's a terrible shame these women find themselves forced to date significantly older men, solely because they are looking for a responsible, secure long term partner. Still, at least you'd hope that the elderly males they're choosing - refuse collectors, parking attendants, waiters, factory workers, vagrants, etc - are having a nice time.
I have to really disagree with this, if women are really so easily adapted to the soul crushing planet destroying world of middle management office work and humorless authoritarian woke HR managers, the problem is women and their go along to get along conformism. Whatever happened to “The Graduate,” and people who mock the future is plastic speech?
I dropped out and live in a wilderness area in a house and land I own outright, the lack of soulless bore laptop class yuppie women in my life is a feature not a bug.
Honestly I think it takes far more courage to get in a car at 8:00 am, commute half an hour to a job in soul deadening cubicle work until 5:00 pm, commute back home fix dinner and then fall asleep in front of Netflix, and then rinse and repeat 5 times a week. I don't see how people do it, seriously.
Thanks for the shoutout at the top of the piece--appreciate that. As for the fuck boys thing: there’s some truth to it. That said: online dating turns both sexes into lying, childish imbeciles.
I think you're right about a lot of that, but the one thing I would point out is that we live in extraordinary times; historically speaking, we live in abnormal times. It feels normal, and scholars are ready to give forth evidence to suggest that - to give one common example - people in past generations always felt the younger generation was worse, and that's how it always has been. So therefore, everything's perfectly normal!
But the lion's share of our ancestors would be shocked by what we have become. And I'm not talking about traditional social changes, like women working and all that, or the aforementioned generational disdain. I mean they would be shocked that the genders are so estranged. That women think the concept of men having "needs" is a perverted and/or selfish thing. That women's empowerment means slaving away for a corporation. That men having a desire like the crayon guy, even as a hobby, is weird. The man-babies, in turn, aren't growing up fast enough and exterior forces play a big part in shaping men. None of this is either good or normal, and pretending we live in a normal world is a big mistake.
That being said, I wish the crayon guy luck. But unless he's the Steve Jobs of crayons, in a past time he wouldn't have to make these singular choices. He could do that and have a family and a normal job to support his family until he breaks even. All of that is broken or destroyed. Or meaningless. We ignore all of this at our own peril.
Thank you Felix. This is a complex topic and something I wasn't ready to get into in this piece - how much of these dynamics have do with the specific era we're in and how much with "underlying truths" of male/female relationships. The usual culprit is seen to be "liberal parenting" and relaxed societal pressure on compelling young men to grow up - with men "finding their way" for an inordinately long time. But I think the story is much more complex than that - that there is something to be said for taking time and "finding your way" but it does create some imbalances within the sexual marketplace. Anyway, lots more to think about on these topics!
I really enjoyed reading this, and it certainly does describe many young people (Harry, formerly prince), but why am I unconvinced that it is the problem of men in general? My grandfathers and father, it seems to me, did not share this point of view at all. Nor did my brother, for the most part. They were nose to the grindstone types who were far too busy to compare themselves to others. Maybe this is what civilization has largely become (and wasn't so true previously). Or maybe each generation just focuses on different aspects of life. Personally, I believe divorce (or absent parents for whatever reason) is the cause of many of the current ills. I can see clearly that the men in my family were always real men (working for something larger than themselves, doing their duty, serving as pillars) until the current generation. Very interesting to ponder. Something is definitely wrong now, and I'm so glad to see Castalia is working on showing the way back.
Thank you Laura. Deeply appreciate it. It all gets complicated! I've definitely had my winding road and am in many ways grateful for it. If I'd been pushed to the grindstone, I also would have felt suffocated. So I suppose there are lots of tradeoffs. But it is interesting to see these phenomena through women's eyes. It's been a major theme in my life (I remember starting to notice this when I was in college) that the women just seemed so much more together and the men-finding-themselves was a major turnoff for them. At the time I would get annoyed with my female friends because I felt that they were conforming at an age when people should be "questioning everything." Looking back, though, I could have used a bit more conformity! But, yes, I agree, that much of this is determined by the mores of the era we're in. Right now, we're in a very lax era in terms of people's upbringings, and that often means that people take FOREVER to figure out their direction in life .
Thanks to you, Sam. Very interesting to read this. I think it must be very individual, and also a result of the family and larger generational dynamics. The interesting thing is that my family are artists and love what they do. Conformity sucks unless you're a robot, which I guess many are. To me manhood is about supporting family and country, being strong for them for the sake of the good future. I'm so sorry to see that notions of manhood have largely devolved into "perogatives"-- the exact opposite of what manhood has always been, selfless sacrifice to keep this endeavor of civilization going. Maybe the internet is to blame, as well as boring industrialized world jobs. "They" seem to have an interest in confusing young men. Very interesting. Thanks!
There's a sort of dazzling energy to be with men who can spout visions, despite their unattainability, as opposed to the visionless. Indeed, the latter seem for many to be men broken by time.
Appreciate it. Thank you!
Ha! Enjoyed this. Illuminating? Thought provoking.
Darcy, lovely to hear from you! Thank you!
It's a terrible shame these women find themselves forced to date significantly older men, solely because they are looking for a responsible, secure long term partner. Still, at least you'd hope that the elderly males they're choosing - refuse collectors, parking attendants, waiters, factory workers, vagrants, etc - are having a nice time.
Haha! Fair enough. I think this is a pretty ancient dynamic.
I have to really disagree with this, if women are really so easily adapted to the soul crushing planet destroying world of middle management office work and humorless authoritarian woke HR managers, the problem is women and their go along to get along conformism. Whatever happened to “The Graduate,” and people who mock the future is plastic speech?
I dropped out and live in a wilderness area in a house and land I own outright, the lack of soulless bore laptop class yuppie women in my life is a feature not a bug.
Thank you Mr. Raven. I guess the trick of it is that independence isn't for everyone. It takes courage to do what you've done!
Honestly I think it takes far more courage to get in a car at 8:00 am, commute half an hour to a job in soul deadening cubicle work until 5:00 pm, commute back home fix dinner and then fall asleep in front of Netflix, and then rinse and repeat 5 times a week. I don't see how people do it, seriously.
Thanks for the shoutout at the top of the piece--appreciate that. As for the fuck boys thing: there’s some truth to it. That said: online dating turns both sexes into lying, childish imbeciles.
I think you're right about a lot of that, but the one thing I would point out is that we live in extraordinary times; historically speaking, we live in abnormal times. It feels normal, and scholars are ready to give forth evidence to suggest that - to give one common example - people in past generations always felt the younger generation was worse, and that's how it always has been. So therefore, everything's perfectly normal!
But the lion's share of our ancestors would be shocked by what we have become. And I'm not talking about traditional social changes, like women working and all that, or the aforementioned generational disdain. I mean they would be shocked that the genders are so estranged. That women think the concept of men having "needs" is a perverted and/or selfish thing. That women's empowerment means slaving away for a corporation. That men having a desire like the crayon guy, even as a hobby, is weird. The man-babies, in turn, aren't growing up fast enough and exterior forces play a big part in shaping men. None of this is either good or normal, and pretending we live in a normal world is a big mistake.
That being said, I wish the crayon guy luck. But unless he's the Steve Jobs of crayons, in a past time he wouldn't have to make these singular choices. He could do that and have a family and a normal job to support his family until he breaks even. All of that is broken or destroyed. Or meaningless. We ignore all of this at our own peril.
Thank you Felix. This is a complex topic and something I wasn't ready to get into in this piece - how much of these dynamics have do with the specific era we're in and how much with "underlying truths" of male/female relationships. The usual culprit is seen to be "liberal parenting" and relaxed societal pressure on compelling young men to grow up - with men "finding their way" for an inordinately long time. But I think the story is much more complex than that - that there is something to be said for taking time and "finding your way" but it does create some imbalances within the sexual marketplace. Anyway, lots more to think about on these topics!
Very true! I don't think liberal parenting is wrong, but I agree there's definitely a lot more to it than that.
I really enjoyed reading this, and it certainly does describe many young people (Harry, formerly prince), but why am I unconvinced that it is the problem of men in general? My grandfathers and father, it seems to me, did not share this point of view at all. Nor did my brother, for the most part. They were nose to the grindstone types who were far too busy to compare themselves to others. Maybe this is what civilization has largely become (and wasn't so true previously). Or maybe each generation just focuses on different aspects of life. Personally, I believe divorce (or absent parents for whatever reason) is the cause of many of the current ills. I can see clearly that the men in my family were always real men (working for something larger than themselves, doing their duty, serving as pillars) until the current generation. Very interesting to ponder. Something is definitely wrong now, and I'm so glad to see Castalia is working on showing the way back.
Thank you Laura. Deeply appreciate it. It all gets complicated! I've definitely had my winding road and am in many ways grateful for it. If I'd been pushed to the grindstone, I also would have felt suffocated. So I suppose there are lots of tradeoffs. But it is interesting to see these phenomena through women's eyes. It's been a major theme in my life (I remember starting to notice this when I was in college) that the women just seemed so much more together and the men-finding-themselves was a major turnoff for them. At the time I would get annoyed with my female friends because I felt that they were conforming at an age when people should be "questioning everything." Looking back, though, I could have used a bit more conformity! But, yes, I agree, that much of this is determined by the mores of the era we're in. Right now, we're in a very lax era in terms of people's upbringings, and that often means that people take FOREVER to figure out their direction in life .
Thanks to you, Sam. Very interesting to read this. I think it must be very individual, and also a result of the family and larger generational dynamics. The interesting thing is that my family are artists and love what they do. Conformity sucks unless you're a robot, which I guess many are. To me manhood is about supporting family and country, being strong for them for the sake of the good future. I'm so sorry to see that notions of manhood have largely devolved into "perogatives"-- the exact opposite of what manhood has always been, selfless sacrifice to keep this endeavor of civilization going. Maybe the internet is to blame, as well as boring industrialized world jobs. "They" seem to have an interest in confusing young men. Very interesting. Thanks!
As a 24-year-old man-child hit different, thanks
Thanks!
There's a sort of dazzling energy to be with men who can spout visions, despite their unattainability, as opposed to the visionless. Indeed, the latter seem for many to be men broken by time.