This is lovely - a very tender story. I'm not completely sure what it's really 'about' though. If it's Daniel and Julieta and alcoholism, mental health, etc, why all the time spent on Lauren? I found her interesting. I feel like I know her! But not sure that it really adds....
Completely disagreed! The story is all about time and movement across time. Everybody always wants short stories to be trim and "economical". Not the best approach! I like the way this tacks away from Juliet for awhile and then comes back to her. Beautifully done imho!
Extended time frame is completely fine in a short story - as is a character who exists as a discrete section. Sam, as discussed, the issue here is 'hipster pathos.' How much do we care about people who at the end of the day are just drinking a bit too much? Greater themes! Please and thank you.
Thank you for the comment. I think this initial batch of stories may not be exactly to your taste. They're not very current or 'explosive' in the way you like. They're all sort of in this like 'timeless' New York of 2010/2015 and are all about more gentle emotions. Hope you bear with me on this! These kinds of stories are important to me. I'll change up modes a bit over time.
This is lovely - a very tender story. I'm not completely sure what it's really 'about' though. If it's Daniel and Julieta and alcoholism, mental health, etc, why all the time spent on Lauren? I found her interesting. I feel like I know her! But not sure that it really adds....
Completely disagreed! The story is all about time and movement across time. Everybody always wants short stories to be trim and "economical". Not the best approach! I like the way this tacks away from Juliet for awhile and then comes back to her. Beautifully done imho!
Extended time frame is completely fine in a short story - as is a character who exists as a discrete section. Sam, as discussed, the issue here is 'hipster pathos.' How much do we care about people who at the end of the day are just drinking a bit too much? Greater themes! Please and thank you.
Snide much? Hipsters are people too! The story works great for me. (Clapping emoji.)
Hi David,
Thank you for the comment. I think this initial batch of stories may not be exactly to your taste. They're not very current or 'explosive' in the way you like. They're all sort of in this like 'timeless' New York of 2010/2015 and are all about more gentle emotions. Hope you bear with me on this! These kinds of stories are important to me. I'll change up modes a bit over time.